Wine, wine, you make me feel so fine!

We went to my dad’s new B&B in Kelowna last week and went on their wine tour. It was pretty fantastic! Turns out, I’m a pretty big fan of Rosè! Who knew? 

   
    
    
   
I’d never been on a winery tour (hard to believe considering I’m a textbook wino) but it was such a lovely day I just had to share! If you’re ever in Kelowna, I can recommend a few wineries you must visit and a pretty baller Bed and Breakfast to stay at too! 

This was the view from my dad’s balcony. 

   
 It’s a beautiful spot! I believe it’s going to be called La Belle Vie B&B. 

Anyways, I’ve been eating some really good meals lately but one was worth mentioning because it was so delicious. Last night I was talking to Steph and she mentioned how she went to get shawarma. Just the mention of shawarma made me salivate. Then I got a mad craving for OPA! So I decided to make Slovaki skewers. 

For my marinade, I used:

1/4 cup red wine (more just an excuse to open a bottle.. #wino)

1/3 cup olive oil

1 tbsp organic oregano

1 tsp organic thyme

1 lemon (juiced)

1/2 tbsp crushed garlic (I’d use more but I ran out)

Salt and pepper 
If I had more time and wasn’t starving while preparing my dinner I would have added peppers and onion to my skewers. Whatever.

So I cut up 3 chicken breasts and marinated them for about 2 hrs then skewed them. 

   
 
Then I threw some oil in a pan and cooked them for about 6 minutes on each side. Served with some tzatziki and I swear it tasted better than OPA. 

   
 
And obv I served with a Caesar salad because I’m fucking obsessing over Caesar salads lately. I cannot get enough. 

We made ribs the other night and they too looked so pretty and beautiful with a Caesar! 

  
Mmmm now I want a Caesar. I’m not talking salad. 

Also, I worked out this morning and it felt fucking great. After. Not before. And I didn’t eat the cheese cake or clean my car. But I may have wine tonight.. 

Shout out to my 1.5 L  of wineeeee 

4 Things I Debate Daily

Every single morning I wake up and make a mental note of some of the things I’d like to accomplish during the day. Some days there are very specific things like “buy groceries so you can feed yourself”, or “wash your hair because it smells like a sewer”. I have noticed, however, that there are 4 things that I constantly struggle and debate over. 

1) Should I workout or be a sloth?

This one is a given. Nobody wakes up wanting to work out. And if they say they do, they are lying. I know some people who love the feeling of the “after workout”, and that I can understand. There’s nothing better than the feeling of finally finishing your workout. So why is it so hard for me to do this. Why can’t I just wake up and not even question if I’m going to work out? Netflix. That’s fucking why. Being lazy is so much easier than moving and sweating. So I have thought of a solution! Instead of waking up and feeling like I have to work out EVERY day, I’m going to aim for 4 days a week instead of 6-7. That way, if I wake up and am truly feeling like a dead person, I can choose to not work out that day without feeling like the guiltiest fatty ever. Already today I have debated whether I’m going to workout and decided today would be a good day to do my 1 of 4 workouts because I’m not very busy. Oh also, I’m starting that stupid Kayla Itsines workout routine because it’s been sitting on my coffee table for 2 weeks and she’s a babe. (She’s probably the kind of girl who pretends to like working out). Stay tuned. 

  

Omg working out is soooooo much fun!! 

2) Should I eat the frozen cheesecake in the freezer?

Bible. Every morning I wake up thinking about that god damn piece of cherry cheesecake sitting in my freezer and think, “is today the day I destroy it?” It’s not always the cheesecake I fantasize about. It’s the Popsicle and the ketchup chips and all the other bad shit in my kitchen. I have been pretty good at keeping junk out of our house but every once in a while that shit sneaks it’s way in. I’m looking at you, Karlin. I swear I have a mental catologue of my pantry and fridge and if something bad comes in, I fantasize about eating it. So here is my solution (because I think I should make solutions for all my first world problems). I’m going to send the cheesecake to work with Karlin. Then it won’t haunt me. BOOM progress. 

  
It’s like frost bitten and sad looking and it still taunts me. #issues

3) Should I open a bottle of wine?

I know some of you are feeling me on this one. French women drink wine every day and they all look pretty fit, so how come I feel so bad about drinking wine with dinner? Oh.. Right. Because I drink a BOTTLE of wine with dinner. That’s why. Solution? BIG OL’ BOX OF WINE. At least I don’t feel guilty opening a bottle of wine every night, ammirite?? K this is not a healthy solution. Perhaps I will try and limit myself to 4 days a week just like my workouts. Perhaps only on days I work out! Woah. It’s like a light bulb just turned on. 

  
4) Last but not least, should I clean my car today?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahhaha

That’s usually what the person in my head responds with. But for real, why am I so gross? My car is a sess pool. I could probably buy groceries for the week if I took in the bottles that cover my floor. There is dog hair caking my back seats. What is actually wrong with me??

Solution? Maybe tomorrow… 

Sorry, Jetson! Suckaaaaaaa

Eggs and shoulders, yo

For those of you that know me, you will know that I have an extreme hate for eggs. I find them smelly and vile and they remind me of old man balls. They way they jiggle and look like flesh and stare at you like “I dare you to put me in your mouth”. They are extremely gross and remind me of sad little chicken abortions.. which is pretty much exactly what they are. Who decided to try to eat an egg in the first place? Like some farmer must have been really high to take something from a chicken butt and then fry it up and eat it. Barf. So you must be wondering how I have managed to get away without eating eggs my entire life. Well, I haven’t. I will eat them, but they must be cleverly disguised. Costumes can range from cheese suits, buttery toast sandwiches and most recently: tacos. I know most of you are going to look at this and think “dude, that’s just a breakfast burrito”, and I am totally aware of this. But in Crawly Land, breakfast burritos are closely linked to eggs. So I prefer to call my breakfast a Non-Egg Breakfast Taco. Behold..

So I put all the ingredients into My Fitness Pal and it turns out, this Non-Egg Breakfast Taco has under 400 calories. I didn’t think it would keep me full all morning but it’s noon and I am not starving! Success. Unfortunately, I had to deal with the smell of frying eggs to make it, but it was worth it. It was like a shitty taco. With my strong love for tacos leading me through it, I was able to plow through and eat it quite happily.

Speaking of tacos, I decided the best thing to do was stay with the theme of the day and make tacos for dinner. I found a slow cooker recipe for pork shoulder that involved a ton of garlic and tomatoes and lots of yummy spices like coriander and cumin. So after pumping it full of garlic every place I could, I covered it in salt and pepper, threw in a can of tomatoes, and now it is filling my house with an amazing aroma.

My plan for tonight is to whip up some guacamole, caramelize some onions and peppers, and throw some salsa on top of the shredded pork shoulder. I have to run to the store later and might see if I can pick up some cabbage and soak it in some white wine vinegar. Just to impress Karlin. Side note: this did not happen.

Ok so holy hell. These were bomb ass taco/burritos. I added some beer to the crock pot about half way through for no reason other than I wanted to drink half a beer around 1 PM without feeling guilty. After 10 hours the meat fell off the bone. I took about 3/4 of the liquid out and shredded the meat, then added some chili powder and cumin. I caramelized some beauty onions and peppers. Topped with a bit of cheese and some guacamole and these things were unbelievable. They were probably not bad calorie wise.. But I ate 3 of them. Oopsies! 

   
    
   
I paired it with an entire bottle of leftover wedding wine too! Maybe that’s why it all tasted so amazing? Whatever. Fuck it. It was delicious. 

  

Bingey Bingerson

I have to admit that my diet and exercise is the first to go when life gets crazy.. and my life has been pretty fucking hectic lately! This is literally the first moment I have been alone and had time to myself in 3 weeks. I am the type of introvert that needs time alone a lot. Getting married was the best time of my life but also really hard for me because I was surrounded by family and friends non stop and today I just feel super drained. I need a day to regroup. Actually I probably need a week at least! My fridge is filled with terribly delicious things that I am finding hard to resist.

Cherry cheese cake..

Apple pie..

Leftover pizza…

Cheese of all sorts..

I decided I needed to get inspired again by healthy foods because I swear I have gained 15 pounds in the last two weeks from all the drinking and horrid meals I have been mashing into my face. Last night Karlin made a salad and I was like WHAT IS THIS?!?!?!?!?! This.. GREENNESS!!!

So anyways, I’m pulling out some of my favourite cook books to get inspired again.

So let my culinary adventures begin again! I think my first order of business is to go back to my taco obsession. There are tons of creative non-meat taco fillings that I am pretty sure I could convince Karlin to eat. If anyone has any recipe suggestions I would love to hear them!

PS. Yesterday I ate Mcdonalds and Kraft Dinner.. I feel better admitting this. Barfzilla.