Last minute binging

I’m not proud of this.. But I just made oat flour peanut butter cookies with candy cane kisses and butterscotch chips..




Road trip!

Karlin and I decided to go to St. Eugenes casino and golf resort for NYE! We haven’t been on a trip together since we moved to Fruity so I’m pretty excited 🙂

Last night I made a turkey spaghetti with spaghetti squash. It was absolutely delicious! It’s our go to meal when we want home cooked savoury food.


I used:
2 packages of ground turkey extra lean
1 yellow onion
4 cloves of garlic
1 tbs of canola oil
1 red pepper
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 can of tomatoe paste
1 can of plum tomatoes

On top of 2 spaghetti squashes!


So easy and so filling. I also am going to attempt to make gnocchi one of these nights because I bought a package last time we were in the grocery store.

The holidays have been really relaxing and fun but I am really looking forward to January and being healthy again! We have been getting into the booze daily here.. But can you blame me??

I have to get into a bikini tomorrow and am not looking forward to it lol. I should just get into the pool fully clothed.


There is my sweet little Sadie who I miss dearly! We are having Crockett over for s sleepover tonight and I’m very excited about this. Apparently we have to take our tree down today and that can lick my balls.

Sigh. Going to be a messy day.


It’s so easy? I’m not sure what people complain about.. I drink more than 3 litres a day without thinking about it so I’m sort of unimpressed.. #toogoodforthischallenge

A new challenge!

Jen. I have a new challenge! Let’s see if we can drink 3 litres (13 cups) of water every day for 2 weeks. Starting NOW!

I’ve read all these stupid articles on how drinks my 3 litres a day will have drastic impacts on your well being so I’m going to see if it does anything.

Who’s with me..



Spend 6 weeks working out and eating clean. Lose 5 pounds. Eat unhealthy and drink for 3 days.. Gain it all back! So much for watching my portions!! Oh well back on track today. It’s really hard with Karlin being home! He gets up and makes delicious gourmet coffee and a huge bacon and egg breakfast while I eat oatmeal and put skim milk in my small coffee with Stevia!! FUCKING RIP OFF.

So I’m at this party the other night and get stuck with the circle of women swapping birthing stories. One girl asks if I have kids and I said no I’m not sure if I want kids. She looked at me like I had 9 heads and blood dripping out of my mouths. Why are women so judgmental? Why does it matter if I don’t want children? It doesn’t affect her decision to have them. Like it honestly has NO impact on her life so why do people gawk when I tell them I don’t really want kids? It just makes me roll my eyes. Then they all went on about how I’ll change my mind and how amazing motherhood is. So I threw Karlin’s sister into it and was like “I don’t know about that.. Robyn tells me all the time how awful her day is and how she wants to kill herself because of the girls” hahahah. Because let’s face it, kids are fucking annoying. I was thinking the other day about what I look for in friends and people I want in my life. Here are just some examples:

1) loyalty. Kids aren’t loyal. They’d sell their parents for a juice box.
2) kindness. Kids are fucking mean. They don’t like to share and they are bossy.
3) intelligence. Nope! Kids are dumb because they lack brain development.
4) generosity. Kids take and they take and never give you anything. They are the definition of selfish. And they never pay for drinks.
5) sense of humour. Ok kids, I’ll give you this one. Kids will laugh at anything like farts, peek-a-boo, and tickle matches.

So as you can see, there’s going to have to be a lot more convincing on my behalf before I will warm to the idea of children. Any child of mine will have to be an accident.


Once the birthing stories were over, the conversation switched to “how everyone gets that musky smell out of their dish cloths and towels and whether or not they use bleach on their children’s laundry”. As a result, I drank a Mickey of vodka and joined the boys in the basement where they were jamming and cranking out old Tool songs. Much more my comfort zone! It ended up being a really fun night and Cards Against Humanity was brought out.

Anyways, going to go make some oatmeal and get my life back on track! Perhaps some cooking blogs need to be browsed so I can be inspired and cook something delicious for dinner tonight!

Hope everyone’s Christmas was amazing and you all got fat too 🙂

Night of the Living Dummy

Holy balls. I’m watching Annabelle and I’m having seizurish flashbacks to when I was like 8, reading Goosebumps until midnight then lying with my eyes wide open an my skin crawling and jumping at every noise the house made. WHO THE FUCK COLLECTS DOLLS? Honestly. People who like dolls are like people who don’t like dogs… Serial killers. There’s just something disturbing about them. I’m not going to lie, sometimes, when faced with a situation where I have to move someone’s doll, I treat it like it’s alive. For example, when we moved into Ali’s basement, she had this huge doll sitting on the desk. I was like Yaaaa Nooooooo. So I gingerly picked it up and found a trunk which I placed a blanket in then nicely laid the doll in it. I think I verbally said “there you go, miss”.

Ok seriously, I threw Annabelle on just so I could have some background noise and I’m actually terrified


I just tried to take a pic of my goosebumps hahah. My THIGHS have goosebumps. How is this possible? I don’t know if it’s the doll or just the overall satanic growling shit but I definitely overlooked this gem. So well done, guys. All I wanted was background noise. I’ve had Annabelle on my computer for a few weeks and actually expected it to be horrible so I hadn’t bothered watching it yet. Can’t wait to sleep tonight. Between the Babadook and satanic dolls, I’m sure I’ll sleep tight.

On another note, my poor little Jenny had to spend the night in the hospital and get a spinal tap. I think I will watch Spinal Tap next to shake the creepiness of this fucking stupid doll movie! Feel better Jen ❤



Picky Judgmental Bitches

I think I might be one of them. I struggle daily with trying to decide whether I am a judgmental c-word, or if I am just really in touch with what I prefer. My mother always says “Don’t wait until you are 80 to start telling people to Fuck Off”. I have always lived by that. My stepmother, on the other hand, has always said “It is better to be kind, than it is to be right”, which I also agree with. So how do I live by both mantras?

Scenario A: I am faced with an acquaintance whom I immediately deem less intelligent than I am and a little on the cup of crazy side. Do I put up with their childish (dramatic) motions because it’s the polite thing to do, or do I dismiss them as unworthy of my time? It was brought to my attention in the last few months that I know precisely what I look for in a friend/role model.

Scenario B: Someone who I previously cherished and adored has taken a different path than I have and I can’t stand by their life choices. Do I politely stay “friends” to avoid being unkind? Or do I pull the plug so I don’t have to worry and lose sleep over their poor choices?

At what point is it OK to start banishing toxic people from your life?

I let go of my Maid of Honor.. We had been really tight BFFs for a long time. And then I just watched our friendship crumble. I knew that we were over a long time ago but it took a lot of guts to actually sever the relationship. Why didn’t I just wait until after the wedding and slowly let it dissipate? Like she likely would have done? Because FUCK THAT. I didn’t want to look back at my wedding pictures and have someone standing beside me that I no longer knew or cared about. Is that selfish? Or am I just lucky enough to know myself inside and out? To know exactly what bothers me and what isn’t worth my time? Am I a bitch because I cut ties with people whom were once a big part of my life? Or am I just good at…trimming the fat? (Jen.. pun intended).

I am compassionate for those who are less fortunate than I am. I don’t judge people who are a little white trash, uneducated, or just plain stupid. Wait, yes I do. Wait, no I don’t. If I meet someone who is (in my opinion) ghetto AF, do I say Fuck that! and choose not to allow them into my life, or do I try and feel compassionate and get to know them and not judge their lifestyle? The way I see it, I am doing both by choosing the Fuck That option. I am allowed to not like someone. That is my right. So how do I be kind about not liking someone? I cut them out of my life. I don’t try to take them down (I have been watching too much Gossip Girl) or hurt them in any way, but god damn it I am allowed to not like someone. I am allowed to be picky when it comes to the people I surround myself with. I am allowed to have a negative thought towards someone if I don’t agree with them. The difference is that I don’t announce my differences in a hurtful manner.

So I guess that means that being picky IS being judgmental. But being judgmental doesn’t have to be hurtful. So I can think FUCK THAT, but also be kind. Does that make me a bitch? Is that “two-faced”? Nobody likes everyone and everything. It is human nature not to like certain things. Like poison. And big hairy animals with sharp teeth. So to dislike something isn’t necessarily bitchy. It is survival. It keeps the baddies away.

So cheers to surviving, bitches! Be picky! Life is too short to waste time on people unworthy of your love and attention. I’d rather have 2 amazing friends than 50 half ass friends.


coco coffin Chanel

Success! Dress has been made! I actually love it and it fits me perfectly. I had to free ball the alterations because I am about 3 different sizes. Here’s some pics..






Anyways I will likely go MIA because the holidays are about to start tomorrow! My goals over the next week are:

1) not over eat but not kill myself if I want a special treat

2) maintain my weight!

3) work out whenever I have a free morning (should be able to work out most days)

Alright off I go!

Housewife 101

I fell into a Fabric Land black hole yesterday. I decided to dust off the ole sewing machine and sew a dress for the holidays. So off I went searching for a fabric store in the Kootenays. There was one in Trail but it didn’t sell patterns.. errr.. Great business plan dude. Then I ended up in Castlegar at Fabric Land.. for apparently hours. I got home thinking hmm it must be noon I should eat lunch! Pftt it was 2:30 pm and I was famished. I hate when that happens. I get to excited and overwhelmed by patterns and then fabric that I totally waste my afternoon in stores like that.

So I bought this cute pattern and even cuter fabric. Unfortunately, my sewing machine needs a tune up and the first line I went to sew got all fucky because I am sewing with a 4 way stretch jersey fabric with little silver dots. SO today my mission is to find the sweet spot in tension on the machine for stretchy materials. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. And of course I will post pictures during the process.

WHO AM I? How did I become so domestic??? From dirt bikes to dress making. I want to do everything!

Chef Crawly

My feet are sore from standing in the kitchen all day! Made some absolutely delicious shit. Started off with Parmesan baked chicken nuggets. OMFG amazing.


Perfect little snack size chicken bites.

Next I channelled my inner Martha and baked peanut butter cookies using ground oats instead of flour in the recipe. Unreal. Added a little green chocolate and voila! Christmas cookies!


No matter how hard I follow a recipe I always end up with a ball of dough that doesn’t fit the tray so I end up making Karlin a monster cookie because he is my love.


Lastly I put on my chef hat and went a bit gourmet with a fig balsamic pork tenderloin paired with a pancetta and garlic brussel sprout salad.



All of this, plus a delicious oatmeal and fruit breakfast, and still under 1200 calories! Barely.. I just ate 3 cookies haha. Plus a cardio and weight lifting session in the morning! If everyday were like today I would be a satisfied foodie! But other than grocery shopping, I pretty much spent all day revolving around the kitchen island! It was well worth it though because the leftovers are going to be marvelous…. JEN. Eat your leftovers :p

Hopefully tomorrow I can do something productive outside of the kitchen! Our electrical inspection was today and we Paaaaassssseeeddd! So we can start to drywall the basement 😀 so excited to get that bedroom downstairs ready for guests!

Anyways, just started last season of Sons of Anarchy. adios!