One Pan Chicken and Squash Gnocchi

Prepare to drool on your lap like you’re watching RyGos smear creamy KD and crushed ketchup chips seductively all over his stomach. 


Shit got really real in the kitchen on Friday.  I made this chicken, spinach, mushroom, and squash gnocchi creation in a creamy garlic Parmesan sauce. From scratch. I rarely make cream sauces from scratch because I suck at making roux or whatever the fuck it’s called (butter and flour mixture). But I laid all my shit out so it was ready, because it’s all about the timing, and created a god damn masterpiece. 


That’s me whisking away my creamy sauce. I actually used a half and half cream and skim milk. Mixed it with the roux and added chicken stock and nutmeg and garlic. 

Pre cooked some chicken and shredded it.  

Then added it my cream sauce and threw in the spinach and mushrooms.



Oh and the gnocchi. Can’t forget those little babies. Covered it in Parmesan and popped it in the oven for 20 min. Huge success! 




Today I felt like doing some spring cleaning chores I’ve been slowly walking away from for weeks. I took everything out of the fridge and cleaned every shelf and threw out all these old expired leaking bottles of filth. Then I made little placemats for the door shelves because they were covered in a smorgasbord of sauces and soya sauce. I guess that’s a sauce too. Loser.


As if this post wasn’t boring enough, here’s a picture of my personal slave putting my socks on because I had just painted my nails (jk I am just lazy). 


Darrrrr he’s cute.



Rookie Freelancing

Alright so I have come to a point in my freelancing journey where I no longer trust people and need to figure out a reputable way of distributing my work AND getting paid for it. I have had a slight increase in requests for editing, and so far, I have mixed feelings. I quoted a client on a job and she accepted. I did the job and she all of the sudden wasn’t sure if she was confident with my work and wanted to see the word doc before paying me. I was like UM no. So as a compromise, I sent her about 10 pages of edited work in PDF format. She said OK and sent me half the amount. Then, I completed the project (it took me forever and I way under quoted myself for the amount of work I did) and told her it was finished and she could send me the remainder of the money in exchange for the remainder of the document. She again, wanted a sample. So I sent her the last 20 pages. She then replied that “her supervisor” was funding the editing process and wasn’t happy with my edits and she wanted me to “kindly send her the previous payment back because she paid for it out of her own pocket an was a poor student”. She was Chinese and her English was fucking terrible and I spent so long correcting every sentence that I replied “you’re crazy if you think I am giving you anything back. Shame on you.” So not a great experience. I did learn from it that I shouldn’t trust people.

Today I just finished a project. Upon completion, I blindly sent the document to the woman because she had actually asked me to sign a contract online and left me a voicemail so I figured she was legit.  The woman asked if I could edit another one of similar length and she would pay the same amount for both, but after I completed the second project. So I blindly trusted her and finished the second project. I emailed her saying I was finished but would need payment before sending her the second one, because come on.. I already sent her the first one without payment, so work with me here. I haven’t heard from her yet but I still have high hopes she will pay me.

My question to you, internet friends, is what are my options in this sort of underground, freelance sort of gig. Is there an Etsy for file trading? I need some sort of third party host to upload the documents to, and only release them once the payment has gone through. It would make this whole process way easier and less stressful for both parties involved. Because really, there’s nothing stopping me from demanding payment upfront, then fucking off and not doing a damn thing. But that would be a really shitty thing for someone to do. I found a site through amazon called Createspace where you can sell eBooks and self-publish, but it wanted all sorts of tax information and I prefer to do these transactions under the table because, well, its my play money. It shouldn’t be this complicated. So is there a dropbox with a payment option? Can I sell PDFs and word documents on eBay? Help! I’m a newb.

On another note, yesterday we discovered an abandoned mine and it was terrifying due to too many horror movies. 



Pork Tenderloin Invention

I swear I invented this. And this isn’t like Karlin claiming he discovered “mustard and honey”… I have named it: Crawly’s Kablamo Pork Organs. 

So this just looks like a boring stupid dinner. But the marinade is bomb. Here’s what I put in it, with no exact measurements because I just eyeball that shit.

Soya sauce (OBVI)

Brown sugar (YA real original)

Mustard (plain because I’m square)

Blood orange olive oil (boom)


Sweet onion diced into smidgeons 

It also looked quite hilarious while I was making it.

If you stare in the centre for 30 seconds then look at a blank wall you will see a hidden message from me to you.

You’re dumb if you tried that.

So I meant to take a better pic but this happened.

I just climbed another mountain. Give me a god damn break. I was hungry. 

So YA marinade your little tremor babies (tenderloins) in that concoction for a few hours then cook at 350 for 50 min and you’re laughing! Enjoy! 

Read and Stuff

Tiny book review. I read this on vacation and it surprised me.

I am not usually one to read fluffy books unless they are horror. A friend suggested I read this though so I decided to skim the first few pages. I am so glad I did.

It is more that just a story of a girl who meets a guy. It was so well written that it pained me to start reading a shitty Dean Koontz novel right after. The characters were so well developed and I could relate to almost every character.

Anyways, the story sets itself up like it’s going to be pretty cut and paste. Predictable. But it covers so many deep emotions and funny side stories. I loved it. When the book was coming to an end, I decided it was so good I needed to savor the last few pages with a bottle of wine. An entire bottle of wine. I wanted to cheer and cry and throw the book in the pool (not just because I am an emotional drunk). But it’s on my kobo.. so I reconsidered because that shits expensive. Anyways, it was a lovely removal from the world and so nice to read after several really non-fiction educational books I had been reading. So go read it if you are wanting to start a good book. And get real into it. Like set aside some pillows and blankets and make some tea and put slippers on and turn your phone off. Just turn it off. Ok nobody turns their phone off but put it on silent in another room. I think I read it in 2 days.

Now I am reading some god awful murder mystery by Dean Koontz and it was alright because there were some dirty sex scenes in it, but then they introduced like Vampires into the already shitty plot. And because I am ODD I HAVE to finish it or else things just wont be right and I will feel unbalanced. Fuck. I will spare you the review of this nose dive.

So happy to be home now from all my trips! Yesterday we set up the most redneck living room ever so we could light our yard on fire and watch from a distance. God Bless mountain living 🙂

The Secret of Dieting on Vacation

I have roughly spent the last 2 weeks out of town and on vacation. The last 10 days was spent in a beautiful house in Mesa, Arizona, with a pool and a lovely view. 

Every day was a treat because there’s not much business to be done while you’re on vacation.  My goal was to stick to roughly 1500 calories (300 extra than what I eat at home) and work out every day. Not my MaxWorkouts because afterall, I WAS on vacation. But there was a pool, some bikes, and unlimited hiking. 

I swam the first day for 20 minutes then Karlin and I went for a bike ride that was absolutely awesome.  We went on a few really cool hikes and saw some beautiful scenery. 

So I’m sure somewhere in there I burned 1 or 2 calories. But what you probably want to know is how I stuck to my diet. So I have written my detailed diet plan below:

I did not. I drank like a raging pirate hooker and ate like 40 chimichangas and tacos and basically shovelled chips, chocolate and anything covered in cheese I could find. 

For real.

I found myself totally incapable of eating a salad when everyone else is pounding burgers and steaks hard. And you know what? I didn’t fucking care.  As soon as I got there I was like WELP SORRY ASS! 

And it was awesome. 10 days of guilt free indulging. Wine and  margaritas and vodka sodas and beer! Delicious beer! All kinds of beer! AMERICAAAAA.

I got home and sheepishly cowarded away from my scale. But I also picked up my wedding dress. I couldn’t NOT try on my fucking wedding dress. So I prepared myself for a sausage fest and stepped into it. It slid on like a silky lace glove and looked like the most expensive thing I’ve ever worn. Because it is. I was so pleased! But still not ready for the scale. 

I pounded some final beers and we  ordered Vietnamese for our last unhealthy meal for a long time. The next morning… I stepped on up to the scale..

153.8…. I was 147 when I left… I was like FUCK RIGHT OFF.  So I miserably looked up what workout was scheduled for the day and wanted to die. I skipped my workout and slept all day.  Today I stepped up again. 150.2!  HEY THATS NOT BAD!  This motivated me enough to work my fucking ass off today and I sweat like a spoiled little piggy.

So I guess when you’re on vacation, just do whatever man. Don’t ruin your time because you’re afraid to indulge. I was with my inlaws so drinking was technically a defence mechanism, not a indulgent act.  But still. Yolo bitches. If you put on weight in a short amount of time, odds are you’ll lose it in a short amount of time. 

Tonight I made a massive delicious salad and bbq’d some chicken breasts and it was damn delicious!  It was no chimichanga.. But I’m back on track and on my way to my goal weight once again. No regrets.  Do it for the cheese. Do it for the wine! 

Vacation >  diet