I decided to stop writing about my trip the last week for 2 reasons. 1) I was on my honeymoon and felt like I should enjoy the last week in private and put my phone away, and 2) the day in Montmarte was our tipping point and everything sort of went from I love Paris to I miss home very quickly. As a result, Karlin’s mom thought we were dead because I stopped writing. Sorry Ali 😁
So let’s see. I started suffering from crippling anxiety due mostly to all the crowds, line ups, and just non stop bustle of the city. I live in the mountains now. The only noise we hear at night is the occasional dog or frog. In Paris, nobody sleeps we figure. I’d wake up at 1,2,3 AM to pee and the streets would still have people wandering around laughing, screaming, fighting, smoking hash, whatever they were doing. It’s just constant. This is really cool and totally fun for the first week. But when you can’t sleep at night, even with ear plugs in, because you’re surrounded by the busy city it kind of gets to you. I’ve lived downtown Calgary for years, but Paris is something entirely different. Paris just eats you up.
Consequently, the last week we tried to do one small thing a day and just relax the rest of the time and nap and eat around our apartment.
We revisited the Notre Dame so we could lineup early and climb the towers. This was amazing on a Sunday when the bells were ringing like crazy! The view was phenomenal.
Karlin was like a little school girl he was so excited by all the gargoyles and architecture. We got to go inside the bell tower also. We both laughed on the way down because you have to go 280 steps down a tiny spiral staircase and our knees were shaking so bad.
After the tower we sought out some “Canadian” food because at this point we were not impressed by like 80% of the meals we had tried. We literally found a pub called “The Canadian Pub” and our server was like “What’s up?” And we were so happy she spoke English. She was from Vancouver and was living in Paris taking her yoga professor course there because school is dirty cheap in France compared to Canada (and it probably sounds way more badass and LC to say you lived in Paris for a year). I was in awe of her because after 8 days I was already becoming intolerant of a lot of French things. Like their highly unseasoned burgers and literal lack of real Caesar dressing. Here’s my moose with a moose.
That night we had an absolutely amazing dinner that night. Someone must have sensed our disapproval and made sure the food angels followed us. Karlin had duck and I had pork cheek stew. Both were incredible and we went back on our last night in Paris to ensure we didn’t have a bad meal lol.
So the next morning we got up super early and headed back to the Eiffel Tower to stand in this enormously cold line to get on the elevator to the top. Apparently we have a slight addiction to heights and depths. It was really pretty. I took an Ativan. I was getting really stressed out on the trains and kept wanting to vomit or pass out so Karlin just started handing me pills. They did the trick apparently!
Look at that ridiculous smile. Someone is on cloud chilllllll. Please note the little people below I was pretending to sit on.
The rest of the day we just chilled at the apartment and ate more shitty food (seriously like we were served a McCain pizza I’m sure of it) and crammed Nutella crepes down our throats. Note: impossible to fuck those up.
Day in Versailles
This day was all for Karlin and his adorable obsession with history. He was giddy. I was doing alright considering the circumstances. Look at this..
K so this is the lineup to get into Versailles…and get this. It goes from where I’m standing all the way to the gold gates you see in the distance.. Then back. SIX FUCKING TIMES. It was the longest line I’ve ever seen. But it took an hour on the train to get there so we endured.
How do I feel about Versailles…
I felt like we took the train to China, not Versailles. The crowds were insane. You basically couldn’t enjoy anything because you were in a constant flow of tourists all pushing and stopping in front of you and hitting you in the face with their fucking selfie sticks.
But it wasn’t ALL bad.
That being said, Karlin sensed my yawns and treated us to a fabulous lunch at the Royal tea room in the Palace.
Truffle ravioli in a Parmesan cream sauce and roasted chicken with expensive champagne? Sign me up.
We spent minimal time in the gardens due to the sheer size of the place. And the wind storm. But it was pretty spectacular.
Oh weird don’t know how that last pic got in here 😘
Ok the last two days were awesome and not just because I was full of Ativans. We went to the Catacombes (underground tunnels housing 6 million skeletons) and the Louvre!
This was a highlight for me because I’m fucked and am obsessed with horror movies and one of my favourites takes place in this exact place.
We bought a ton of souvenirs because it was so cool. Yes I needed a shirt that say “I ❤️💀”
The last day we spent at the Louvre after an absolute disaster morning trying to get there and then realizing we could have walked there in 10 minutes after running around train stations and bus stops for a fucking hour.
The craziest thing about the Louvre was we both barley even wanted to go because we were so over being tourists. It ended up being one of my favourite places!! The Napoleon apartments were so baller. I’ve never seen such lavish decor. The whole place was so interesting and beautiful and we were in such good moods because we were coming home the next day!!
All in all it was such an incredible honeymoon and I’m so happy we got to see all of Paris that we wanted to see. I will have some follow up posts regarding some lies about Paris and other fallacies we discovered soon.