Being a role model is way harder. I have decided that dogs and children are way easier to impress. I spent my weekend dealing with family drama regarding the wedding invite list. For anyone out there deciding if eloping is the better option, here’s a hot tip: IT IS. I wish I had done that instead. Now that I have so much money put down for deposits, this is no longer an option for me so I must suck it up and carry on with this dooms day.
I’ve been searching for advice online how to cope with wedding planning stress and the best advice I’ve found is that at the end of the day, all that matters is that I marry my bestfriend and love of my life. All the rest is bullshit. Corsages? Fucking ugly and I hate them. So nobody gets one. Sorry moms and grandmas. NAMW. $200+ for each bridesmaid bouquet? Suck it. You can carry broccoli bunches wrapped in ribbon. Don’t like who you’re sitting by? Screw you all no seating plan. Your dad doesn’t want to come due to deep seeded 25 year old drama that has nothing to do with you? I’ll take pics and send them your way. Oh you’re sad I invited some of your friends and not you even though we haven’t spoken in 3 years? I’ll take a shot for you, homebrew.
Some other good advice from my dad: “Just do what I do. Pretend you’re a pyramid made out of titanium so anything that comes your way just hits you and falls to the floor”.
Touché pops, touché.
Hey beads.. See what I did there..
On the plus side, I ordered 400 ft of adorable glass globe lights so my wedding can look like every other wedding on Pinterest. SUCCESS.
I’m also attempting to grow all of the flowers needed for my wedding. This should be hilarious. I promise to update with pics.
We spent the weekend working on the guest suite and I’m extremely excited about it because I have been given full decorating reign. Picking a paint colour is a lot harder than expected. But that’s still a ways away. This week I’m tackling the taping and mudding. I’ve watched about 3 YouTube videos on how to do it and consider myself fully trained and prepared now. Oh baby. This is going to be good. Also, thoughts on wallpaper? I found some bomb ass stuff on Amazon that I really like. Just for one wall…
FUCKING LOOK AT IT JEN
I’m also going to make some curtains because I adopted some heavy mint green upholstery fabric and its taunting me from the office. Every time I walk by I see a corner of it under the couch because that’s where I jammed it. It’s like COME PLAY WITH ME..
So to cheer ourselves up we spent some time with Karlins nieces because they act like they have just taken large hits from the bong.
After building a nest for Madi, she decided we needed to build another one right beside it because this one was for the friendly snakes. The friendly snakes that made honey. Green honey… Oh BUT WE HAVE TO SHOW THEM HOW TO MAKE THE HONEY.
I was like “where does mommy hide her drugs?” If you ever want a good laugh, ask a three year old to describe an episode of Bubble Guppies. You are bound to receive a response similar to someone who has taken a lot of acid.
The next night we were invited to go bowling in the basement of the Fruitvale Hall. How could I even resist seeing this gem.
At first it was like meh. Alright.
Then we requested the lady who was running the busy place to turn on the cool lights. Boom. Magic town.
We also discovered that Madi is related to Beyoncé and runs the world.
So things got weird this weekend in summary.
It was really nice I didn’t have to cook on Saturday! Karlins sister made these ridiculously delicious Vietnamese wraps with vermicelli noodles, salmon, cucumbers, peppers, peanuts and more. Of course I didn’t eat the salmon because that’s disgusting dude. Madi and I got special chicken made just for us. Because we are children. I should have taken a pic but didn’t want to be weird. I will recreate this week perhaps because they were delicious!
I’m going to go make some chili and drill some more screws into the drywall so I can begin my masterpiece.