My growing gut

I haven’t eaten this much bread since high school. I have a gut. It is concerning. 

Karlin ate raw salmon. Like a chunk of ground up raw salmon. I was gagging. 

I had this delicious pasta with stewed vegetables and was very happy with myself.  

After dinner we strolled down this street that gave me the worst anxiety. People were EVERYWHERE. It was chaos. I don’t understand when people work because every street is always packed with people wandering around and eating and drinking! We just went for a walk around the Notre Dame and people were drinking wine before 10 am. These are my people.

I finally caved and bought an industrial amount of macaroons and ate them all in bed like the sloth I am becoming.

Yesterday we decided to check out the arc de triumph and I’ve got to say we were super impressed! The views from the top were stunning. We’ve been having pretty good luck with lineups too. We had to wait maybe 3 minutes. By the time we left there was a solid 30 minute line. Suckas.

I thought after climbing all these stairs to get to the top I would work off some fat but my gut was def still there this morning. Thanks for nothing, stairs. 

Here’s some cool views from the top:

It was windy AF at the top. So give me a break! Also, watching the traffic circle was hilarious. I imagined every single driver being like “WHERE THE FUCK AM I GOING?!?” 

This guy was all “omg, Becky”.

The sculptures on the 4 sides of the arc were pretty impressive.

After ooing and aweing at the arc we walked down des Champs-Élysées Ave where all the huge baller ass designer stores are. In most stores, there was a secret service agent standing at the door and they had to unlock the door for you to come inside to their fancy stores. So we didn’t go in. Except for this expensive pen store because there was a mildly cool pirate ship in the window and Karlin insisted we go in and see it. Oh and we went into Hermes and I felt like fucking riffraff.

I don’t know why I took pictures of Louis Vitton. It wasn’t all that impressive. I don’t even like LV. I just thought it was a cool thing to do because other people were doing it. 

Anyways, we walked on and found 2 palaces across the street from each other. The Grand Palais and the Petit Palais. One was bigger than the other.. GOOD JOB ON THE NAMES, GUYS. #accurate

Paris’s door game is mad strong. Every door looks like royalty. Take note, Canada.

The grand palace was actually sort of creepy. You couldn’t go inside and it was just this giant empty palace. We were peeking in the windows obv. And like, this place is huge. The entire ceiling is glass. What a waste of space! And yet people buy a 400 sq ft apartment in the same area for half a mill. Craziness.

I google earthed it so you can see how ducking enormous this place is.

I personally could think of a lot cooler things to do with that kind of space. Just sayin.. INDOOR DIRT BIKE ARENA, ACROBAT SCHOOL, BOWLING ALLEY, LARGE SHOE COLLECTION, GROW OP. 

Most indiscreet grow op on the planet. 

Anyways, we discovered you could walk through the Petit Palais FOR FREE. Which was awesome because Paris is the most expensive place on the planet with exception to maybe some place in Dubai.

There was some beautiful architecture and painting and sculptures everywhere with a huge garden in the middle. 

Just a typical Friday night coming home from the bar ^^^

After looking around the Paris we carried on towards, I don’t even know. We just walked. We walked for 5 hrs yesterday. (Still fat).

We found this Oblisk that Egypt gave to Napoleon as a gift. I probably made this up but it sounds legit.

And a pretty dope ass water fountain with Zues getting ready to shred his golden guitar.

By the time we figured out how to get home on the train I was ready to booze pretty hard so we stopped at one of the billion random cafes and watched people for an hour on this cool street.

On our way back to our apartment we spotted a jazz club and were like YEP THIS IS HAPPENING.

I put on my new coat which was a mistake.

Because the waiter smashed a wine glass all over me! But luckily the material is a little rain coat-y and I managed to dab off the red wine. The Jazz was excellent and we even bought their CD like little groupies.

Also, I finally had a chance to try some traditional French veal and chutney which was amazing. The only downfall was that the portion was about the size of my thumb. We were both starving after.

So we walked around drunkenly until we found a place that served nachos. Apparently the beer I was drinking had tequila in it so I was pretty spent after!

Wasn’t even hung over this morning which is excellent because this afternoon we are going to a fashion show!!!

We just went to a little market this morning and I ate this veal stew in a bun that was unreal. 

We found this cool statue thing also..



And another baller door. Think this was their government building.

Two more things: I’d be annoyed if I were Paris because people lock little pad locks I absolutely everything. Not just that one famous bridge or whatever. They are everywhere!



And second of all, this store was like “fuck gargoyles, I’m carving cats into my building because I’m going to die alone”


Ok I better shower and clean up my life before this fashion show!!



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