Soccer, football, whatever and some hair

This whole jet lag thing is really hard to adjust to. I thought by day three we would surely be totally adjusted but yesterday I was tired and a bit grumpy. As a result, I was being a cranky broad and so we had to go shopping to cheer me up. It was awful. I had to buy a super cute leather jacket and a totally adorable hat and some fun black pantyhose so I could fit in. You all would have hated it. 

  
When I felt satisfied we came home, ate a shit load of Brie, sausage and bread and I passed out for a few hours. It was a really rough time.

Last night was Karlins treat and he bought us tickets to a football/soccer game. Whatever they call it. It was a pretty fun adventure taking a bunch of trains and navigating around the city. The trains are really confusing until you take them a few times. Then it clicks and you just get it! We were excited about the double level trains for some reason.

  
This was after being soaked in the rain, hence the mop on my fucking head. I saw you looking at it, Judy. 

So we arrived to the stadium early and went to a pub to get some beers. I was literally the only female in the whole bar. It took a few minutes to notice but we had a good chuckle about it.

  
Good thing we got a solid buzz before we entered the stadium because, um, there’s no alcohol permitted inside? What the actual fuck? I thought Frenchies knew how to have a good time? But then after seeing how insane the crowd was it sort of made sense. They are crazy enough without adding booze to the mix! 

  
I took a video of the crazy hooligans but I have no idea how to upload videos on here. Let’s just say I understand why photo ID is required and you are frisked before entering the stadium. If your name doesn’t match the one on the ticket, you don’t get in. The streets are lined with police vehicles. Seriously like hundreds of police vans and every cop is wearing riot gear! I felt quite safe! 

So we found our way back home and decided we had been ripped off due to the non-beer -selling stadium so we went for some cheap wine and pizza at a nearby cafe.

  
  
I think I just uploaded a video. GENIUS.

So we drank a shit load of wine last night. I was in bed ready for sleep at midnight and Karlin peer pressured me to stay up and have two more glasses.

End result: this was my fucking head this morning…

  
Karlin slept about 2 hours all night because of this stupid jet lag so this morning was rough. Although I think I’m finally on Paris time because I woke up around 8:30 which is decent. 

We decided to check out the Centre Pompidou today. For 2 people that know very little about art, we were both really weirded out and impressed by the exhibits. 

It’s hard not to be impressed by the building itself!

   
 
While we were waiting in the giant line, we were chuckling at this young guy sitting on the ground reading, completely surrounded by pigeons. I went to take a picture and just as I did he looked right at me and I was busted!!

  
French people just give zero fucks when it comes to choosing a place to chill. They will sit in the middle of the street if they feel like it.

So here’s some shots of this super weird exhibit by the artist Mona Hatoum. This chick wishes she was Marina Abromovic but isn’t quite as artistically insane. What she is very passionate about , however, is her own hair and fingernails and urine. This one room had a bunch of hair balls scattered on the ground and it wasn’t until you walked further into the room that you realized thousands of long gross strands of her hair were individually hanging from the ceiling. 

   
 
It was hard to take a pic but you can kind of see a few strands.

She also wrapped herself in plastic, tied gauze around her head and doused herself in cow blood to make a statement about military leaders. Mmmmhmmmm…

  
This wasn’t actually at the museum but a bunch of pictures of it were there so I googled it.

Some of her other pieces included a glass baby crib..

  
A giant cheese grater that gave me the shivers due to my fear of getting fingernails in your grated cheese and carrot cake at restaurants..

  
A neon globe and a weird light installation that had no apparent power source..

   
 
A monstrous map of the world made out of marbles (note: we couldn’t imagine people bringing kids to this place but lots of people did)..

  
And an exhibit Karlin wasn’t allowed to look at because it can cause seizures.. How nice..

   
 
Some other bizarre things included pieces of toilet paper and other paper products covered in her hair, some with her shit and urine, and glass cubes filled with her fingernails. By this point we were convinced we could be famous artists too. I could harvest my nipple hairs and glue them to a used tissue and frame it and BAM. Modern Art.

There were a bunch of installations that required you to walk down a very dark hallway filled with super fucking weird noises into an even darker room where videos and sometimes holograms of people were doing weird shit. Every time I was terrified and Karlin would bump into something and we would both jump and laugh. Meanwhile, all these art contessouirs would fearlessly walk in and roll their eyes at us. One had a warning hat it may hurt young children’s feelings… 

   
 
It was comparing weird masks to deformed faces. Alrighty then..

Here’s some other neat stuff.

   
    
    
    
    
   
In the end we decided that art was pretty cool but only sculpture/installation types of art because we gave absolutely no fucks about the paintings and “classical” art shit. Looking at a painting of a lake does nothing for me. Yet they were all swarmed with hipsters talking about the rare form in the artists brush strokes. Yawn. 

That being said, there was one photograph that caught my attention and really resonated within me for some reason. I stared at it and it reminded me of my best friend Jen. It just summed up so many of my moods and touched me deeply.

 
 

We stopped for some lunch at a cool Cafe on the way home and I actually ordered a salad. It was weird feeling the vegetables touch my mouth. They were so unlike the bread and pizza I’ve been shovelling in since our arrival in Paris! 

I also managed to buy a BEAUTIFUL cream coloured trench coat, some olive green skinnies, a black mini skirt and a gorgeous wool sweater on our way home. Karlin was so exhausted and just stood there holding my purse and all my jackets and clothes. I love this man. He is now sound asleep. Poor guy. But it gave me time to catch up here so all is good! 

Not sure what we will get up to this evening but we are in Paris so I’m sure it will be marvellous ❤

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