Wedding Rituals I Find Silly

I am learning so much about weddings lately and a lot of it I find so strange. This past weekend my future mother-in-law hosted a beautiful bridal shower for me at a bed and breakfast winery. She and my sister-in-law probably spent 100 hours preparing 1 million appies and decorating the place. There were even hand painted wine glasses as take aways. Such a massive get together for what.. Because I’m getting married. I find it strange that people go to such great lengths to celebrate something that isn’t really an accomplishment. Congrats on finding a human you want to hang with forever. Umm it was pretty easy. I didn’t really have to try that hard.. I just met him and we mutually agreed we were the coolest and then phantom glued our hands and hearts together. It wasn’t like I found the cure to foot fungus and hemmorhoids. I just fell in love with someone. This simple act now deems me eligible for presents and more attention than any normal person would want. 

I walked into the bed and breakfast and wished I had an invisible cloak so that it wasn’t so “OMG SHE’S HERE” *insert trumpets sounding* Thank god Jen was with me so at least it was like “OMG SHE’S HERE AND WHO IS THAT?” 

Then there was the present opening. First of all I was wearing a possibly inappropriate low cut dress and my tits were hanging out. So imagine bending over in front of 100 eyes (with grannies) watching me grab gifts.. That I don’t need… Or deserve for any reason. It was hella awkward. I might understand this shower ritual if I didn’t already have a full house equipped with everything I need. But having somewhat strangers try to decorate a house they’ve never been to is quite funny. I now have enough napkins to host all of Alberta over for dinner and wine glasses for each person. 

Anyways, I’m not trying to sound ungrateful at all because I thought it was really sweet that everyone went to so much trouble for me. I just don’t understand why some traditions stick, even when they don’t make sense in our modern society. Where couples often live together before marriage and have everything they need. Maybe it’s secretly for the parents in sort of a “thank god my spawn found someone to create spawn with”. Who knows. All I know is that I am discovering more crazy wedding things that are “tradition” that I am throwing right out the door. The whole “groom takes garter off of brides thigh with teeth in front of all the wedding guests” tradition is awful. Pretty sure nobody wants to see that. Also pretty sure my thighs will be a sweat lodge and Karlin would emerge looking like a wet seal.

Or when I was purchasing flowers, another massive expense for someone who doesn’t even really care for flowers, I was getting all worked up over all the people at the wedding that were entitled to corsages and boutonnières. All the grandmothers and mothers and groomsmen and grandfathers, etc.Guess what I think are ugly? Corsages and boutonnières. Guess who is getting one? NOBODY. If this is “my big day” then I’ll do what I want. No shoving cake in eachothers faces. No bouquet toss. Let’s all just dress up and eat good food and drink good wine. We don’t need to pour sand together and light ceremonial candles. We can do what normal people do when they want to celebrate. Take shots. 

Rant over. Back to the bed and breakfast. The woman who decorated this place was a god. She up cycled so many old pieces and incorporated lace and corrugated metal in so many beautiful spots I was truly inspirered.

This hanging old door with lace and pearls. Loved. This sliding barn door made from old pallets. Adored. 



This bathroom killed me. Claw foot tub with old windows covered in lace and hanging lights. Le sigh! 



The corrugated metal with lace on top tickled me. Every room was so precious. 







And chandeliers were everywhere. Like every corner. My heaven.






Please note we spent a lot of time getting ready to hang in this classy establishment…



And then got absolutely Opposite Day non classy drunk after and ended up at some of the less finer drinking holes in Trail.








What a greasy night that turned into. Can’t wait to do it again in the big city! 

Welp back to my million wedding crafts. But first, birthday cake.

Happy birthday Karlin my love! 



3 thoughts on “Wedding Rituals I Find Silly

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