Put Some Glitter On It

Day 1 of this stupid MaxWorkout shit Karlin downloaded. This guy who designed the workouts motto is like “Don’t make excuses, make changes”, but it should be “I’m going to make you cry and puke and hurt in weird areas of your body that you never think of like the middle of your left tit and just below your knee caps, slut bitch”.

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You do a bunch of consecutive exercises then have a minute recovery period. This was me in recovery. I should have taken videos so you could hear me whimpering.

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The only thing that kept me going through the workout was the fact that my usual fix for things that don’t look right (putting glitter on it) is not going to work in regards to my back fat. My wedding dress is very.. Er.. low and see through.. and I don’t think Michaels and Walmart combined could provide enough glitter to cover my back lard and deceive my audience.
Hot Tip: Google “glitter back fat images”. Thank you, Internet. You never cease to amaze me.

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I am waiting on this guy from Edmonton to send me his thesis paper to edit. It’s his Masters dissertation in Petroleum Engineering. Can’t wait to read this nail biter. I hope there’s a climax where all of the sudden everything makes sense and I learn something about myself throughout the process of editing it… If not.. I guess I could just add it in for him FOR FREE. Trust me, man. I know how to get people going. If he gets mad I will say “JUST PAYING IT FORWARD” and then end all communication with him. Like any professional proofreader would. OBVI.

Damn it. He just replied. Guess I’m working today.

Also, this came up in my glittery back fat search. You’re welcome.

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5 thoughts on “Put Some Glitter On It

  1. Oh eeww.
    Ew ew ew ew ew!!
    Working out sucks balls.
    Giant, hairy balls. Like scary large.
    That kinda large where you’re like, “you growing a time in there or something? What’s really good though…?”

    Like

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