5 Ways for Unathletic People to Enjoy Winter

The words “enjoy” and “winter” rarely belong beside each other in a sentence unless the sentence is “I DO NOT ENJOY WINTER”. I hate winter. I hate my pastey translucent blue veiny skin colour I acquire during the months of November to March. I have a major case of heliophelia and dislike short, dark days. I also hate when people find out I live in the beautiful mountains and don’t ski or snowboard.

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It’s as if I have insulted them and their beloved overpriced hobby. I am just not a gifted athlete. I tried to learn how to ski and snowboard for YEARS. Mostly because the outfits looked cute and I thought I could pick up guys in the ski lodge. Instead I suffered from broken bones and the feeling of failure. Two years ago I finally gave up on trying to be a cool snowboarder and said fuck it. Best choice I ever made. Now I am faced with a new challenge: getting through the winter without wanting to kill myself! So I have composed the following list on how I am coping.

1) Snow shoeing. It requires a lot of effort, but pretty much no skill. If you can walk, you will probably be able to snow shoe. It is an excellent workout (I am super sweaty after an hour) and you have the chance to see some gorgeous landscapes you might not see if you hate skiing and snowboarding like me! I was out this morning and it was beautiful and a great workout.

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2) Start a spring/summer garden!

Indoors of course. I have been reading this awesome book on gardens and what to plant with what. I highly recommend it. For example, plant leeks with carrots for a natural pesticide. Apparently carrot mites hate the smell of leeks. I have been designing my raised beds for spring and drawing up what I am going to plant and where. In a few weeks I will start my seedlings inside! Excitement.

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3) Mother effin GT Snow Racers

Let’s just say, if you have a hill in your backyard like this..

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… Or in your neighbourhood, you need one of these…

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BUH- LEEE DAT

4) Be gourmet! Embrace weird ingredients!

My mom bought me this amazing cook book by Thomas Keller called Ad Hoc at Home: Family-Style Recipes

It is by far one of the most beautiful cookbooks I own. It’s huge and the illustrations are gorgeous, not to mention his detailed recipes. He actually takes the time to describe proper cooking techniques and his food is so hearty and savoury. For example, I learned how to poach an egg the proper way! Not using those little cup things. I will post on that later. Anyways, it’s a gorgeous coffee table-sized cook book and was probably one of my favourite gifts I received this Christmas! If you have any hard to buy for people in your life, this is perfect. It makes you feel empowered to attempt even the most gourmet recipes! The roasted veggie side dishes are absolutely to die for. Turnips, parsnips, and beets have become guests in my refrigerator and pantry because of this guy! Celery root with melted onions is so simple and delicious. Mushroom conserva or saffron rice are great starter gourmet recipes. Try new things! Buy or borrow cook books and make a date night out of it!

5) Host a Cards Against Humanity
night

You would have to have a pretty boring and awful group of friends if you didn’t enjoy this game. Paired with a bottle or two of cheap red wine, you’re sure to have a good night.

So this is how I spend my winters. Not skiing or snowboarding or snowmobiling (although if I were rich I might buy one). So stop whining about the cold, buy a Canada Goose jacket, and be productive! And squat. Do lots of squats. Your bikini bottom will thank you in the summer.

WIN OF THE DAY:
I have perfected the at home London Fog

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