I started getting nostalgic and thinking about the last year and all the shit I learned. Maybe I learned them in my 20s but didn’t realize they were lessons until now. Or who knows, maybe I’m just wise as fuck. Anyways, take a knee kids.
1) Loving someone is hard
But it shouldn’t be too hard! It is hard to be selfless and love someone and put them in front all the time. Sometimes you have to disagree with the person you love so you don’t lose sight of who you are. It’s a fine balance of being kind and giving, while also being a little bratty and keeping parts of you the same and not budging no matter what your loved one thinks or says. Unless your loved one is Ryan Gosling. Then do whatever the fuck he says gurrrrllll.
2) Sacrifice is a necessity in relationships
And I don’t just mean baby lambs and virgins. If you truly want to stay in a relationship you have to be willing to make sacrifices. I don’t think there are two people who want exactly the same thing all the time so if it’s going to work, you need a little wiggle room. A LOT in my case, hence me uprooting my entire life and moving it all to Fruity. When Karlin told me he wanted to move back to his hometown I knew I was either going with him, or breaking up with him. Noooo thanks! Karlin is my dream boat. End of story.
3) Living with future in laws is fattening
For real. Living with many people means cooking large quantities of food, which means a lot of groceries, which means a lot of cheap shitty crowd pleaser foods. It’s much easier to please 8 adults and 2 kids with some pasta and generic sauce than it is to prepare spinach and feta stuffed chicken breasts and a big organic salad with risotto. I tried to make healthy and delicious meals for everyone but it was exhausting and there were never any leftovers so every meal required so much thought. So I gave up. And got hella chubby. Now that we are in our own house, it’s soooo much easier to eat healthy because Karlin will be thrilled to eat anything I put in front of him and we can afford to splurge on organics and fresh local meats. Like pigs. insert pig roast montage
4) Get Rid of Toxic People
They serve no purpose. Keeping them around is only enabling them to shit on your life and annoy you. So fuck them. Life is too good to waste it with losers. And like I always tell Karlin when he complains about this guy he works with who is a dick to him: YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIKE EVERYONE.
5) Pinterest is Largely Misleading
Don’t get all uppity, I adore Pinterest.. But it shouldn’t be taken literally. Just because someone took a ridiculous amount of time to take step by step pictures and clever instructions, does not guarantee your craft is going to turn out anything like theirs. I’d say 9/10 of my Pinterest creations failed HARD. No, Pam cooking spray does not “set” nail polish. Writing on a mug with a permanent marker and baking it for 30 minutes does not permanently implant your image on the cup. None of your baking or stuffed meats will look like they do on Pinterest.
Although THIS was pretty sweet. But that’s just because Karlin helped me..
But ya, most of my attempts were brutal.
6) Building A House is Hard
I will admit, I designed my dream Pinterest house and love it to death. But I almost killed my fiancé and his family in the process. If you can afford it, hire a builder. Because it’s fucking brutally hard and physically demanding. Not to mention mentally exhausting. Especially when you spend an entire day doing something wrong and have to do it all over again! We had a lot of good memories and fun drunken nights after a hard day of cement pouring or stripping forms. But a lot of nights I came home and cried haha. A LOT OF ATIVAN WAS SWALLOWED.
7) University degrees are not That great
Ok if you’re a doctor or an engineer maybe they aiight. But a Communications Degree is fucking bullshit in small towns. If I were smarter, I would have gone to trades school. It means nothing to have a communications degree in a town where the only work is in healthcare and trades like electricians and builders. I should have become a welder. Or a nuclear weapons specialist.
8) Kraft Dinner is fucking horrible for you
It’s true. I can eat like a box of KD in one sitting, and let me just say, it’s probably worse for you than going to McDonalds and ordering 2 Big Macs. It’s just not something that I have wanted to come to terms with in the last few years. It is my comfort food. But I need to find a new way to comfort myself. Sorry my cheesey ketchupy heavenly friend. We need to break up like now.
9) When you find good friends, never let go of them
Ever. Use Duct tape and zip ties if you need to secure them in your life.
10?) Stephanie Barnes has cute kids and I cannot count
Barnes mentioned she found my blog and read every single post and was not sure if she liked reading it because she was afraid I was going to talk about her. Stephanie Barnes lives in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. She is engaged to Jason and has two adorable little girls, Scarlett and Piper. They steal my hearts every time I see them. One time, Scarlett shot Jen in the face with a pen lid while we were having lunch. Then a bee landed in Stephs hair and Jen and I laughed at her as she freaked out. Also, I clearly can’t count because there are only 9 things I learned this year.
So there you have it. 2014 was full of changes and I started a new life in a new.. village.. Happy New years to all my friends and family and followers!
I guess I need to plan a wedding now!
Stay tuned for my New Years meal plan and workouts. Starting tomorrow. Not today. Too much champagne 🙂